The Elucidated Brotherhood of Baristas

I love the Elucidated Brotherhood of the Service Industry. There is, among brethren in the service of the public, a code.

A bystander may hear the following interaction between a member of the Brotherhood and the barista behind the counter.

"You guys survive the holiday?"

"You in the service too?"

"Yeah, I'm at Downtown Crossing."

"Starbucks?"

"Peets."

"That's real."

This is what you're not hearing. The secret conversation.

"You guys survive the holiday?"

"Did you have a 211 degree drink thrown in your face too? Because I did."

"You in the service too?"

"I see that you, too, know what a gift card paper cut feels like."

"Yeah, I'm at Downtown Crossing."

"Your customers make you taste the drink you just made them because they think 'it tastes funny.' I found an unconscious guy in the bathroom at my location. I'm not sure which is worse."

"Starbucks?"

"Don't smile. If the cameras see us smiling, we'll be subject to a tribunal."

"Peets."

"Now is the time when you make me a free drink or give me a ridiculous discount."

"That's real."

"Of course, brother. Someday we'll meet again, in that big frother in the sky."

I mention this, because I just had this exact same conversation, and got a $3 discount at Starbucks.