the raving (encounters with a vegan cashew loaf)

once upon a midnight dreary, 

while i hungered weak and weary

over quaint and curious hipsters 

at the whole foods grocery store.

i was starving, nearly snapping, 

so opposed was i to snacking,
as of someone near attacking 
strangers at the grocery store.

`'tis a cashew loaf,' i muttered, 

`formed upon my cutting board-
only this, and nothing more.'

eagerly i set it baking; - 

lately i had started making
my roast to surcease my aching - 
hunger from the grocery store -
with some rare and costly cashews 
purchased in bulk at the store -
soaking, still for evermore.

 now my pants are never fitting, 

while i'm sitting, while i'm sitting
with quiv'ring seams about to bust 

and hit my ankles on the floor;

and the roast has all the seeming 

of a gravy that is gleaming,
gobs of oil casting sheen 

while cashew crumbs lie 'cross the floor;

and my butt from out that barstool 

that stands shaking on the floor
shall be lifted - nevermore.

vegan cashew loaf

modified from peta recipe

::roast::

1 cup olive oil

1 cup vegetable stock 

2 large onions, finely chopped 

3 cups raw cashews, soaked in cold water for 30 minutes

1 1/2 cups bread, cut into small cubes (i used food for life gluten-free brown rice bread)

3 large cloves of garlic 

salt

nutmeg 

2 tbsp lemon juice

::stuffing::

3 cups bread cubes 

1 cup olive oil

1 small onion, diced

2 stalks celery, diced

1/2 tsp. each thyme and majoram 

3 tbsp. dried parsley

• Preheat oven to 400°F

Pre-chop all your ingredients.  This will save you a lot of time in the long run, trust me.  I also separate the onions/bread that's used in the roast from the onions/bread used in the stuffing.  Makes life easier once things get started.

• Heat oil in a deep pot, add the onion and sauté over low flame until translucent and soft. Remove from heat.

• Grind the cashews in a food processor with the bread and garlic and add to the onion, together with the stock, salt, nutmeg, and lemon juice, to taste.

Combine stuffing ingredients in a large bowl.

• Put half the cashew mixture into the prepared pan, top with the stuffing, then spoon the rest of the nut mixture on top.

• Stand the pan in another pan to catch drippings and bake for about 30 minutes or until firm and lightly browned (cover the roast with foil if it gets too brown before then).

• Cover in delicious almond-mushroom gravy.  Recipe for that one to follow.