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Friday, August 19, 2011

Detox.

So last year when I was detoxing all the prednisone, pain medication, anti-emetics, and all the other fun drugs they gave me over the last two years, a small bump on my hand developed.

Small turned big over the course of a year, so I went to the dermatologist, who assured me it was definitely a build-up of scar tissue, hit it with a locally injected drug to treat it, and went on her merry way. Apparently, it wasn't, because it got considerably bigger over the year, so I went back last week.

They took a biopsy, which they said would be nothing, and it has hurt considerably all week (not as bad as my last surgery, but it kept me up last night), and now not only has my body been unable to form a clot over it in three days, but it's an open wound. I work in food service. Awwwesome.

This has not been a good week. In fact, it's been spectacularly bad. I would like to go to a small Scandinavian fishing village where we can spend all day drilling holes in the ice and taking pictures of seals and NOT having creepy side-effects of narcotics I had to take last year.

I am really upset right now, and have eaten accordingly, which I'm sure I'll suffer for tomorrow, but right now I'm pretty much in an extremely agitated place and probably have to have a bigger surgery later this week. Will it ever end?

I could really use some prayer right now. I know that God has a greater purpose in this, but I feel so small and powerless when I have these health problems. It's a scary and vulnerable place. I am so freaked out at the prospect of more surgery, more medical bills, and figuring out what this thing actually is.

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