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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sinus Infection

My name is Becky, and I have a sinus infection.


Three days ago, I was fine.

I had a bright yellow Kate Spade sweater, new yellow Chucks, and a dress with cowgirls on it. The world was my oyster.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have put those cookies down. I would have stepped away from the muffins, and I would have thrown that delicious, delicious brownie promptly in the trash. By the way, the brownie was from Glutenus Minimus in Belmont, and it was the most delicious thing I have ever tasted. But that's neither here nor there.

I am a princess, and I receive tribute. The tea shop that I work at was shopping for a new baker since our old one quit, and caterers from across the land were bringing tribute to us in vast boxes that weighed thirty pounds and smelled of heaven and butter.

There were cheesecakes of Traditional and Strawberry flavors in tall square boxes. There were boxes of flaky browned croissants and sugar-dusted berry scones. There was sheet after sheet of oozing chocolate cookie. One company brought us three boxes that were 3'x4' that took up three seats on the subway when I brought them home for my roommates. They had pastries I had never even heard of in there. Every possible variation on sugar, butter, flour, and chocolate was in those boxes.

And then there was the box from Glutenus Minimus. I scuttled away like a crab with a hot piece of detritus. I don't need to list what was in the box, because remembering it will just make me sad and hungry, but there was pumpkin tea bread, red velvet cupcakes, muffins, scones, and one brownie that took me to a higher state of being.

You can see where all of this lead. Such are the wages of sin.

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