I wanted to write for those of you who may be new to the lifestyle, considering a change for the new year. A member of my family is in this position, attempting to change from a VERY American diet to a diet that facilitates healing and freedom from disease.
If this is you, if your gift to yourself this year will be healing, I can't think of a better gift.
My mom and I were arguing this morning, because we come from two different schools of thought. Her school of thought is, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." My school of thought is, "Well, yeah, but grandma's pot roast!"
Basically, my mom's perspective is that the day you decide you're ready to put down that bacon and step away from the bacon is the day you begin to heal. I totally agree. The first step is crucial. When you're ready to commit to a new lifestyle, the sooner you commit 100%, the sooner you feel better.
That being said, food isn't just about food. If you're in a place where your food choices rule your quality of life, that cookie isn't just a cookie. And the holidays are the hardest time of year, because we eat certain dishes in an almost ceremonial way. It's dad's special turkey that you flew all the way home to eat. It's mom's Christmas cookies, written in her cookbook that you inherited when she passed. The holidays are a tender, emotional time, and food is integral.
It's not impossible to begin a new healing diet at this time of year, merely very very very very very difficult.
To make things even more complicated, in our culture of SUPER yin diseases (diabetes, kidney problems, Crohn's disease, cancer), winter is the time when our bodies are weakest, when our health often collapses. Those "seasonal flus?" What time of year do they happen in?
So here, we have family and friends sharing dishes that make our hearts feel good, while on the other hand, our bodies are bloated and falling apart. What are we to do?
I began my macrobiotic transformation under Ginny's guidance during the Christmas holiday. For me, it was a little easier because I couldn't keep the food down long enough to enjoy it. For many people, if digestion isn't your main symptom, it makes changing your diet at the holidays hard. I was punished at a 1:1 ratio. Eat the bad cookie, throw it up. But some people don't get directly "punished" ten minutes after they eat. It's more subtle. Does that mean that seven days of clean eating later, they wouldn't feel better? No. It just means that it's that much harder for them to do it, because they don't notice the difference right away.
I believe the most effective healing change you make is the one you make right away. That being said, be aware of your emotions.
1. Separate the food from the feeling. If you've had a painful, difficult year, you may associate the warm, comforting foods of the season with safety and nurturing. This makes sense. We're going back to our family and our loved ones, and they care about us and take care of us. You may remember loved ones who are no longer with you, and feel connected to them with the food you used to share.
It feels scary to give up these meals. It feels like we're losing something we'll never get back. But here's the thing. The food remains the same, but you've changed. Your body can't handle that stuffing and turkey like it used to. Letting it go isn't loving your parents or grandparents any less. It's loving yourself enough to know that you have limits, and it's time to establish new, healthier traditions so you can be around for your children and grandchildren. The way the food industry is going, these kids are getting horrible digestive disorders and allergies. It's up to us to create the healthy, healing holiday dishes that they'll remember for the rest of their lives. To create dishes they'll never have to give up.
2. Create new traditions. When I went macro, I cried a lot. I felt like everybody was leaving me behind, and I was left alone in this weird place with this weird food. My body had withered from a size 10 to a size 2, and I had the stretch marks and weird, deflated body of a very sick person. I felt so alone.
Then my friends caught up with me. They saw that I was struggling and isolated, and we started to hang out and make meals that I could eat. I got more adventurous in the kitchen, because I wanted my friends to love the meal I made them. A couple of these dishes gave us all such joy when we ate it, that the feeling stayed with the dish. I went home, channeled that happiness and peace and sense of belonging, and prepared two dishes for Thanksgiving. As I ate, I remembered the taste and how amazing it felt to have friends who cared for me and were willing to meet me on my level.
Ta da! The feelings are back! The ones we just talked about! Only this time, they're not wrecking my health! They're supporting and nurturing it!
3. Imagine who you want to be.
There's a moment in every macrobiotic counseling journey when the counselor asks the patient, "What is the one thing you want the most?"
For some people, it's a life without pain. Ginny has said in her book, she wanted to be alive and healthy to teach her children to ride a bike and play. I wanted to take journeys and live new places and work and study. I couldn't do any of those things throwing up every day. Honestly, even before that, when my health was collapsing, it was hard to do those things. I went to Scotland and had to leave a month early because my health was so bad. I wanted the strength to see the world.
You can't reach a destination if you don't know where you're going. Who do you want to be? What do you want to do?
This post is dedicated with love and appreciation to May, Allison, Eddie, Natalie, Claire, and friends everywhere who looked up "gluten" and "macrobiotic" on wikipedia, who took the time to call me and ask what a kuzu was or where one might obtain umeboshi vinegar. I could never have done this without you.
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