THE GLUTEN-FREE VEGAN PIZZA OF TRIUMPH

I don't even know if I can write a blurb about how successful this was. I am currently burping up satisfaction, and picking contentment from my teeth.

This is recipe is gluten-free. This recipe is vegan. I can't even squeeze and shape this to be macrobiotic. It is, however, Snackrobiotic.

This is how it went down:

THE BEST GLUTEN-FREE VEGAN PIZZA EVER.

DON'T LISTEN TO ANYBODY ELSE. THIS IS THE BEST YOU'LL EVER HAVE.

Ingredients:

DOUGH:

1 bag of Bob's Red Mill GF Pizza Crust

2 eggs (we used organic, local, free-range eggs despite being in the midst of reading "Eating Animals." A Vegan alternative with flax seeds is provided on the mix bag.)

4 tbsp. olive oil

Yeast packet (enclosed)

Cornmeal

See package for instructions... It involves an oven, a ton of oil, and a soupçon of self-doubt.

tomato

oil cured olives

mushrooms

3 cloves of garlic

sweet vidalia onions

soy mozzarella cheese

Bove's marinara sauce

Begin caramelizing your onions. For them to taste best, you really need to cook them on medium heat for 30-45 minutes with a pinch of salt added 10 minutes in, and they really need to be sweet vidalia onions.

Chop garlic and deep fry, removing just as they begin to turn a light brown.

Have your trusty right-hand man cut your mushrooms and tomatoes, because she doesn't trust you with sharp objects, probably for good reason.

Here's your sauce. Never accept sauce out of the jar. It would be like paying full-price on a knock-off bag in New York's Chinatown. You have to haggle with the sauce. Give it a smack of oregano, a dusting of parsley, and some powdered garlic salt and onion powder. If you live dangerously, hit it with some red pepper flakes. I did. Here's a picture:

Here's a picture of my partner in pizza. My... I can't pun tonight.

While we do the prep work, we are toasting the pizza shells for 10 minutes at 425.

And after smoothing the sauce on with a spoon, adding grated vegan cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, olives, and garlic in that order, you get...

Cook at 425 for 15-18 minutes, remove, and don't expect the tofu cheese to melt. It never will. Empires will rise and fall before soy cheese resembles anything close to real cheese.

And... ENJOY!!! (Then if you're gluttons like us, enjoy again an hour after dinner).